she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
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literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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