I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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