ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
