Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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