I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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