I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
