Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
