if you like me you must not know who I am
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
