But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
