If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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