Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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