it's too hot outside to masturbate.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
how does that bad decision feel?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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