That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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