You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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