Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Randomize
