I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
