she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
