Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
