Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
