I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
