Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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