i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
