If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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