We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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