So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
