Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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