According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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