In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
