I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize