thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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