the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize