Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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