I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
