So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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