Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
