What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
