I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
