I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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