I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
