God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
