I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Let's paint friendship bongs
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize