Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
