he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Semen is not good for contacts.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
