Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize