ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
