dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she smelled like a LAN party
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
