six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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