it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize