She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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