Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
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i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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