Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The adults are the big ones right?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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