gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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