Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Will you blow on my dice?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
