How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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