Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
