R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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