What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
