normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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