im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
