my phone needs a breathalizer
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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