Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
