I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
