If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
