Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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