am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
