she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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