FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
