I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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