How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
